for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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