I hate all girls vehemently.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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