She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
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I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
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I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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