Can i not drive my cunt home
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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