If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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