Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
