my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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