Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
