My nipple is on Facebook.
Buhtt sex?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
