I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
