And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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