Will you blow on my dice?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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