we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize