I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
