Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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