He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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