u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
nutella sex= disaster
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
not ubering you a puppy
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
