dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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