Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.

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(407): View more from Florida

I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"

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(912): View more from Georgia

then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again

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(905): View more from Toronto

when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko

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(415): View more from California

You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?

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(937): View more from Ohio

Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.

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