You really coming over, don't trick.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"