One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it