Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on

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  (631): He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on http://tfl.nu/fevt
  Replies (37) Good night (1531) Bad night (1049)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK

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  (508): Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK http://tfl.nu/0izu
  Replies (9) Good night (1996) Bad night (533)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.

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  (713): He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it. http://tfl.nu/91c2
  Replies (23) Good night (7197) Bad night (953)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile

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  (402): Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile http://tfl.nu/7vam
  Replies (22) Good night (940) Bad night (5085)
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  (310): View more from California

  I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him

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  (310): I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him http://tfl.nu/a0ny
  Replies (14) Good night (4083) Bad night (1803)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.

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  (514): he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come. http://tfl.nu/c1dt
  Replies (20) Good night (848) Bad night (8255)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!

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  (860): You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS! http://tfl.nu/g8vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1310) Bad night (581)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.

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  (954): I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days. http://tfl.nu/jvfc
  Replies (1) Good night (931) Bad night (598)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.

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  (252): i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass. http://tfl.nu/8dgj
  Replies (1) Good night (335) Bad night (782)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT

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  (972): Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT http://tfl.nu/8ret
  Replies (4) Good night (1461) Bad night (374)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"

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  (321): Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo" http://tfl.nu/3ea4
  Replies (8) Good night (863) Bad night (317)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.

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  (617): When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise. http://tfl.nu/gx0y
  Replies (6) Good night (1002) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome

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  (913): Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome http://tfl.nu/rr1v
  Replies (4) Good night (1207) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night

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  (440): Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night http://tfl.nu/buf5
  Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"

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  (445): she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too" http://tfl.nu/r5oy
  Replies (2) Good night (169) Bad night (414)

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