Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick

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  (304): My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick http://tfl.nu/tgso
  Replies (27) Good night (3716) Bad night (616)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He played with my vagina like it was a turntable

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  (423): He played with my vagina like it was a turntable http://tfl.nu/xc9s
  Replies (24) Good night (4212) Bad night (1648)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?

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  (251): Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl? http://tfl.nu/mkwq
  Replies (38) Good night (939) Bad night (3758)
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  (949): View more from California

  you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.

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  (949): you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano. http://tfl.nu/kwsa
  Replies (6) Good night (2406) Bad night (3298)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.

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  (330): I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face. http://tfl.nu/5edg
  Replies (7) Good night (3724) Bad night (1596)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.

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  (516): matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed. http://tfl.nu/kzo6
  Replies (3) Good night (1962) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I resent that

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  (989): If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back (906): I resent that http://tfl.nu/qneu
  Replies (6) Good night (2996) Bad night (1714)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

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  (847): Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic. (847): It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word. http://tfl.nu/kmzp
  Replies (10) Good night (2745) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong

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  (510): she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong http://tfl.nu/3blf
  Replies (10) Good night (4316) Bad night (867)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...

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  (214): Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake... http://tfl.nu/n6e9
  Replies (5) Good night (1266) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.

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  (224): Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God. http://tfl.nu/uf0o
  Replies (0) Good night (908) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry

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  (+61): Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry http://tfl.nu/2c34
  Replies (6) Good night (364) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?

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  (801): What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE? http://tfl.nu/0e68
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Aloha alcoholism.

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  (520): I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game (520): Aloha alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/4jmi
  Replies (0) Good night (604) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".

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  (773): no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things". http://tfl.nu/laia
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (309)

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