I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
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There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
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I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation