u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
