Quick, to the slutcave!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
and you fell through a lawn chair
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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