K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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