Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.