Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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