is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
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