College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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