dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
