Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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