i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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