he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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