i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize