I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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