i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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