ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
