How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
