I just pynch a tree in the face
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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