somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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