I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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