But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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