you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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