you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
