Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize