shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
