This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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