I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
