just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
