we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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