My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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