Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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