is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
