How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
