Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
But we have bathrooms and they dont
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
