we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
