theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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