He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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