feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize