I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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